The compound of feelings
was posted at 3:12 PM with 0 comments
So, I guess my week has been depressing and somehow enjoyable.

It's hard to find the proper adjectives to describe my week, since there were some ups and downs. There were moments of happiness and there were moments of frustration. It's all formed up into an unbreakable compound of happinessfustrationlaughterdepression. It's not a mixture to me, where I can easily take out the feelings or moments I don't want in my week. What you feel is inevitable.
It all comes down to how you want to treat it. Weather you're going to keep it all in or let it out. And apparently, I'm going to let it out.

If you look in the big picture, you'd see this week like it's only a sentence in a song/a week in a year. It's easy enough to say it that way, but a week seems to be a long time. Especially when your feelings are all mixed up and unclear. I haven't adapted to my schedule yet, after the long December holidays of peace and ultimate freedom. Now that the boundaries and dead lines have been set up once again, I can't help feeling tired of this repeating cycle of daily life: Study, Eat, Computer, Home-works, Swim, Eat, Sleep.

Everything feels dull and uninteresting.

I'd often try to imagine that the days I've lived or am going to live in are painted by God and that I should be grateful for that comparing to the ones who are living in pain and fear of their end time.

But, it's still difficult.
One of the main things that contribute to make this week depressing is my parent's constant lecture. My parents have been constantly lecturing me on the things I'm not good at or the things I fail to do.

Exercising is one. They think I'm still not doing enough to prevent my scoliosis to worsen. Swimming twice a week, badminton every week, Pilates everyday & brisk walking/jogging every evening I don't go swimming. Apart from all those physical exercise, I'm not allowed to wear flip-flops because my mom heard it does not properly support your spine or something. And, I'm not allowed to slouch or sit cross-legged.

Sucks, I know. It's required for me to do all of the above, and perhaps will be forced to do more in the future. My mom does not accept any excuse for me to skip swimming other than my period.

The days don't slip by anymore without me feeling that dread to go swimming or stress to finish all my homeworks on time. And it's even affecting my sleep.

D: I need to look in a different prospective in life. Otherwise everything will be dread, dread, dread.
What happened to the enthusiasm? The excitement? The drama? The eagerness?

Chinese New Year, please come quick.

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