was posted at 1:23 AM with 0 comments
I swear I can feel the fire within me dying. It takes so much more effort to be able to laugh, walk with confidence, and even leave the house to meet new people. This is not me.
This year has been the shittiest year followed after 2012, and it's not even ended yet. Im still so mad about that huge bomb dropped on me and all the events that followed subsequently. It's scary to know how much you can actually cry in two months; It's a fucking torment.

Uni life just started a few weeks ago. I'm sifting through U.S. universities and doing as much research as I can. In the meantime, I'm also trying to figure out my personal preferences in the different lifestyles in the U.S. states. Ann Arbor, Michigan is so far winning my heart. But honestly, deep down I feel like the distance is also playing a factor. I have been wanting to go as far away from home as possible in the last two years. Yet, I'm still a little scared. I don't know. I don't know what to expect, but I guess all I want is just a some peace for a while.

I miss my close circle of high school friends. I miss trying to catch cheerios in my mouth and wasting like 80% of them, I miss laughing over all the stupid things I did.. erreything. i even miss drawing my separating funnel and calling it a vagina (my drawings skills deserve some credit for once).
Who knew how quickly confidence could be stripped down despite all the gym classes you've clocked in or the grades you've gotten.

It's 1:31 A.M, and I regret drinking coffee.